Date: 2009-11-07 05:07 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

So there is apparently a new drug cocktail going around the mid-west called ‘Cheese’. Basically it’s a combination of cold medicine and black tar heroin.

Alright, first of all, why does everything go around the mid-west United States? Come to think of it, the mid-west is just a giant parking lot, I guess there is nothing left to do but go round and round. But second, excuse me? Heroin and cold medicine? That’s not a new drug cocktail. What the fuck? That’s just heroin for people who caught swine flu.

Date: 2009-11-07 05:00 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

You know it's next to impossible to let somebody know that you really understand how they feel, and sound like you mean it. Because when you tell them, they are usually wearing panties, and you are usually trying to get your hands in said panties, or around them, or anywhere in the vicinity.

I digress.

There should be another phrase to use than simply saying I know how you feel. When you really mean it. A better phrase. Something more binding than the third shot of tequila you are about to order for your buddy.

Date: 2009-10-25 08:30 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

It's going to come. It's not here yet, but I can feel it creeping up on me. Like the head lights of on comming traffic on a windy mountain road--the hang over that will finally bloody kill me!

You can try fight it with Advil, or.. heroin. But try as you must, it's inevitable.

So let me just say this, if you haven't seen Naked in New York then see it! It's almost like 500 Days of Summer but different. And it has Mary Louise Parker, when she was young enough to be cast as a college student.

She plays the role of a girl who makes you wish you drank less in college and spent more time walking on the beach, and reading books. Which is of course a fleeting thought, I'll give you that.

God, writing is such an on again/off again thing for me.
But when it comes out, it pours. Like a talent that could have grown. That could have been nurtured, like a relationship. But like most of my relationships (read: all) it was time better spent drinking.

Date: 2009-10-25 08:01 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Alright, I am a belligerent drunk, and I am sorry. I don't remember much, but let me say this—whatever part I played in your discomfort—I apologize. And I didn't mean to tell—you out right—that you can't have her, (which of course you can't, so piss off!) I am usually more suave than that. I guess I was just being a dick at your expense. She's not mine either, you know.

But I passed out soon enough, because I didn't eat anything, and because I had one shot too many. So what happened afterwards is totally your own fault! That, and never call here again!

Date: 2009-10-06 00:00 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Hу вот, еще один год проебал!

Date: 2009-10-03 13:41 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

You know how people say living well is the best revenge?
That's not really what they mean.

What they really mean is I hope you get fat, ugly, and pregnant!

Since people usually mingle amongst others of their own caliber, chances are nobody is going to end up having their arm cut off because they didn't notice the gangrene set in during a heroin induced bliss.

But fat, ugly, and pregnant? Now you got a fighting chance at smiling and letting "I told you so" escape your breath.

Date: 2009-08-22 05:10 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

When really drunk don't hang around the girl you want to sleep with because you are still hung up on her.

It will only make you feel angry.

Date: 2009-08-22 04:53 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I don't understand it when people try to use the girls from your past against you. Not really against you, but in that I-know-a-secret-about-you sort of way.

What's the secret?

I thought we had something. She didn't. I asked, twice. At least one time I was polite. In the end it really doesn’t matter. I am not one of those boys that needs to wonder if Hell is exothermic when a girl tells him it will be a cold night in Hell before she sleeps with him again.

At least not anymore. I am too jaded. I've loved too many girls that didn't love me, and too many girls loved me whom I couldn't bring myself to love.

I don't know how to explain that love, and by proxy sex, means very little when it takes three shots of tequila just to make me wonder what might have been.

Date: 2009-07-31 00:05 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Lately several people have commented on the fact that I am a lot nicer online than I am in real life. One of the words used was--reserved--but they were just being polite. What they meant to say is I am an asshole in real life.

Man.

It's true that you don't know me really well. You see you totally misread me.
( continue )

Date: 2009-07-20 03:30 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I know there are a lot of reasons I should be glad that YouTube exists.
This is one of them.

Date: 2009-07-20 03:06 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

In retrospect what ever happened was just the misguided messed-up acting out of a boy and a girl who both have one too many issues.

Come.

Date: 2009-07-20 02:47 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

You know in the end I think you can never really know what happens between two people. Especially behind closed doors. Because no matter how many sides of the story you hear, you can never really sort it out.

Especially if they used to date. Triple if they used to sleep together.

Date: 2009-06-05 00:36 Subject: In Plain Sight Security: Public

I once went out with a girl who was studying quantum physics.

At dinner I asked her to explain how gravity works. Not what it is, not how it behaves, but how it works. She first talked herself in circles, then some time between the entree and dessert, she called me an asshole and stormed out.

Date: 2009-06-04 23:32 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

We were talking about drugs.

Because that’s what two people who’ve done too many drugs do.
They share their crazy stories, which they wear on their sleeves, and let the nostalgia take over the moment.

Like sharing memories of a cute girl whom you’ve both dated.

But then the moment is gone, and you agree what a bitch she was as you sign for the tab and head out.

Date: 2009-06-04 07:21 Subject: S E N S U A L I T Y S U B T L E T E A S E Security: Public

Eye candy for the dirty mind with a sweet tooth.

Whatever happened to cunniling_hush?

Did they close then open again? Shit...

Date: 2009-06-02 01:25 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

My laptop charger broke. It's really hateful; the cable won't work no matter how much I twist it. Except right now. It's playing tricks on me. In this horrible uncomfortable position it suddenly works. It's hateful because it really exemplifies the human condition. We get so damn used and content with life's little comforts, that anything which throws us off our tracks abounds to a complete disaster. Or maybe it’s just very telling about me.

I am paranoid and annoyed. I am tired. I haven’t been getting much sleep because I can’t get my brain to shut off. I worry. Laying exhausted, my eyelids feel heavy. Not quite awake, not quite a sleep. I can’t stop thinking. Random themes and images flow through my head, like dandelion seeds on a windy day. 20mg of Valium would probably do the trick. There is a plethora of chemicals which can make you feel good, and heal your soul. Better living through psychopharmacology. If only.

Doctors would say I have racing thoughts, and prescribe Ambient or Lunesta. A friend of mine would say I am fighting, unclear with whom, or for what, but I am fighting in my head and I should stop. But I am arrogant and narcissistic, so I think I can figure it out and win. I think I am right, even when it’s in my interest to be wrong. Because I am a Libra, and I am intuitive and I can see.

Disastrous situations promote clarity. But I can see them before they happen. And I don’t understand how everyone else is so oblivious. It’s right in front of you, people! Why don’t you say anything? And if I was an impartial observer, I’d shut the fuck up when shit hits the fan, when everyone has this deer-in-the-head-lights-who-would-have-known look. But I am not a impartial observer. And I can’t fight the urge to say I told you so! I knew it. And that makes me vindictive, and it makes me an asshole, but it makes me right.

If everything goes wrong, I will just become a heroin addict. It would probably make me a better writer, for a while.

(thanks Helen, you were more eloquent I think, same same but better. I am just a second hand plagiarist)

Date: 2009-05-23 03:25 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty.. You fall half in love with them..

Date: 2009-05-23 03:08 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

You know that moment when you do something horribly inappropriate, because you are a dim-witted belligerent drunk? And you are not quiet embarrassed yet, but you can already see tomorrow's embarrassment?

Why doesn’t it work the other way?

Why can’t you see the day you’ll laugh about how young and stupid you once were?

Why?

Date: 2009-05-23 02:56 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

There are girls whom you'll always be attracted to, no matter how much time passes.

Because they don't change. And neither do you.